When nothing eases the pain
by Thin-K
Summary: Tala lost his childhood friend to the Abbey's torturous ways. Now, years later, he's on the brink of death too. What if it's easier to let go? Tala Bryan
1. Default Chapter

K: Haya, on to the next story… : )

Well, I still own nothing,… Unfortunately… : (

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

**When nothing eases the pain**

**By: K**

Chapter 1

'Why?

What have I done to deserve this?

Why is this all happening?

Why does it hurt so much?

The guys…

Would they hurt them to?

No, please, not them too…

Tala… Not him….

Please, if some one can hear me.

Let some one end this. I can't take it anymore.

It hurts.

It hurt so much…'

Tears are falling down.

A voice cries out loud. But it will never say the prayers that are in his head.

He is young, yes, very young. Too young to be here. Too young to go through this.

But he has already learned the most important lessons of this life.

Never beg, never show mercy, never cry…

Don't love, it will only cause you trouble.

* * *

"Alex…"

The name, softly spoken, escapes his lips.

He looks around.

The room is dark and the bed next to him empty…

They must have taken Alex away not so long ago.

'How come I didn't wake up when they came for him?'

Tala looks at his watch. 23u53.

'Hell, I slept for only 13 minutes. How come I didn't wake up? I'm a light sleeper. I hear everything that happens here…'

His eyes widen.

"They have drugged me…" A soft whisper, spoken to no-one special.

'So that's why diner tasted so strange…

Alex, what are they doing to you? Where are you?

I wish I could help you. But that's impossible.

Damn it!

Why is this happening to us? Why us? Why?

It isn't fair…

Life is so unfair.'

* * *

"Get in!"

They throw him in the room.

His body falls with a loud 'thud' on the hard floor.

I'm at his side in a second.

I gasp for air. His back is covered in blood. Crimson red blood.

I turn him around. His eyes are closed.

"Alex…"

I can barely get a sound out of my throat.

Why? Why did they do this to you?

You look horrible. Not only your back is covered with wounds, but also your chest, and you have two stab wounds. Your side and belly are bleeding incredibly hard.

I don't know what to do… If you don't get proper help, you'll bleed to death…

But I can't do a thing.

I've never felt so helpless before, and I don't think I ever will…

"Alex, Alex, please, wake up! You gotta wake up Alex. Please, just wake up!"

I close my eyes. Tears are falling down on your face.

Suddenly I feel you stir.

I look at you. Your face shows so much pain that it breaks my heart.

"Tala…"

Your voice sounds weak. Breakable. Vulnerable.

"I'm cold… So cold…."

I take you in my arms and hold you close to me.

Tears are still falling down silently.

"Hush Alex. You must rest. You must get better."

I feel you shake your head against my chest.

"I… I'm not gonna get better Tala."

I hold you closer still.

"Of course you are. You can't leave us Alex. Don't do that to us. We need you. Please, you have to stay!"

I feel you shudder.

"Alex? Alex!"

You look at me. Tears in your eyes.

"Promise… Promise me Tal, promise you will look after the others… Promise you will keep on living… Promise you will keep on fighting. Never give up. Don't let them win. "

You gasp for breath. Your eyes widen from the pain.

"Alex!"

"Promise…"

Your voice is so soft…

I nod.

"I promise."

You smile. A small smile. A sad smile. A smile of the leaving…

Your eyes close. Your head falls down. I can't hear your breathing anymore.

"Alex? Alex? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! ALEX!"

**TBC

* * *

**

K: So, here I am again. Well what did ya think of it?

Okay, to clear some things up: Tala and Bryan are 6 years old. Alex is 8. Ian is 5. And Spencer is 7.

Okay, tell me what ya think of it… You all know that little button down there, well, be nice readers and leave a little review. I would really appreciate it… : )

See ya next chapter. : )

Oh yes, forgot to tell ya… I do own Alex and the plot… However Lily gave me the name…: )Thanx girl!


	2. chapter 2

K: forgot to tell you… Kai is as old as Tala… You know, he was still there too…

/blabla/means: spoken in Russian.

I still own nothing : (

But… ENJOY!

**When nothing eases the pain**

**By K**

**Chapter 2**

Tala POV

'No! I can't lose! I may not lose!'

Clearly I underestimated that kid a bit. Although I should have known better… He's trained by Kai. What did I expect?

Okay, he won the second round… 1-1… So what? I can easily win the 3rd…

"Bladers, are you ready?"

'You're going down Tyson! I won't let you win! I won't let you beat me!'

A perfect launch. Of both of us.

The blades meeting each other midway.

'Time to play…'

The ice was closing the 2 bladers in…

'Panicking already? You're weaker than I thought… Has Kai learned you so little? Or are you so stupid to learn?'

"What is this? Why are you smirking like that? What's wrong here? What's wrong with you?"

My eyes are cold and the smirk is still on place.

"I'm just winning…"

I see you shake your head.

"No, you're just playing, but you're not gonna win!

Can't you see it Tala? They're using you!

You and the others of your team!"

I tense up. Hearing Tyson, but also an other voice on the background.

'What is this? What's going on? Why do I suddenly feel…sad…weak…helpless…?'

"I'm not gonna lose Tala! Not because I want to beat you, but because I won't let them win! Boris and Voltaire. I won't let them win!"

_Don't let them win…_

A broken voice, so long ago…

_Promise…_

I close my eyes. Who is this? Who?

_Don't forget!_

I shake my head. No…impossible…

_Look after the others…_

My eyes shoot open. Your face floating before my eyes.

'Alex…'

I shake my head.

'How could I forget, Alex…You died…To protect us…Me…

I held you…I felt your body run cold. I saw your eyes dim. I heard you take your last breath.

We were so young…How could I forget?

I broke down. Wanted to die, but I promised… Promised you…'

I look up. Wolborg is still fighting Dragoon. Protecting me. Sensing I was lost and acting himself to keep me from any harm…

You're standing there. Before me. Smiling. And I feel like the child I once was.

Why did they brainwash me? Why did I have to forget?

To become better. To win the world for them…

I nod. Understanding finally hitting me.

I softly call Wolborg's attention. Telling him to attack, but at the moment that he meets Dragoon, to withdraw…

I can feel his confusion, but he does as I ask.

Even after everything I did to him, he still trusts me…

Through our bond I can feel he knows it wasn't really me who trained with him all these years…

A flash of white light blinds me and when I look again, Alex is gone, Wolborg is lying still and Dragoon is still spinning.

Tyson's team is hugging him breathless.

Even Kai manages a smile. However it disappears when he sees me.

I can see sympathy and old friendship in his eyes.

I smile at him.

/Don't worry. I haven't lost. I've won…/

You're looking questioningly at me, but then it hits you.

You nod and smile.

I walk back to my team.

They're trained well to Boris and Voltaire's standards. Not a single emotion to see on their faces. Cold, stone.

Still I know what they think, what they feel…

We walk out of the stadium. The car is already waiting for us.

All of us knowing what's going to happen when we get back 'home'… Still we get in.

The silence is becoming irritating. I look at the guys. Ian has his eyes closed. Bryan is looking outside. And Spencer is staring at me.

Our eyes meet and mine soften.

You don't have a clue what happened back there. None of you have…

I shake my head.

Because of me, all of you will get punished…

/Don't worry Tala… Everything will turn out fine…/

I look at you. How did you know what I was thinking?

/Niet. It's not gonna be alright. You know them. You'll all have to pay because I lost. I hate that/

Your eyes widen. I've never been like that before. I would never have said something like that before this match.

/What did happen there? How come you lost against that little kid? He's no match for you…/

I sigh. How could I possible explain what happened there? I don't know myself…

Out of the corner of my eye I see Bryan looking at me.

I'm trying hard not to show too many emotions. They don't know me like this. But something inside me broke. Seeing Alex again… Hearing his voice… Remembering how he died… Died in my arms…

I'm forcing the tears back. I won't allow them to fall. I promised. Promised I would be strong…

I look outside. We've arrived…

I take a deep breath and step out. The guys following close.

I shudder when we walk through the gate.

A nightmare is about to begin. And I can't help but think about Alex. About his last hours…Here in the Abbey…Would I end the same way? Or would it be different with me?

Guess I'll find out soon…

TBC

K: so this was chapie 2… Hope you all liked it. Leave a note to tell me…

See ya next chapter.


	3. But a lost friend's call

**When nothing eases the pain**

**By: K**

Chapter Three: 

When nothing eases the pain… But a lost friend's call

Pain.

Darkness.

Nothing left to feel.

Nothing left to care.

Broken.

Cold.

Uncaring.

Stone.

'Why? Why is this happening. Why me?

The guys? Are they save? Do they hurt them?

Is this what Alex had to go through? Is this how he felt?'

The whip cracks on his back.. For the 100 time. Tainted red already.

Nobody here to help him. To comfort him.

Cruel laughter.

More pain. So much pain.

A boot kicking his face.

A hand grabbing his hair. Pulling him roughly up.

Lustful lips pushed on his. Something hard pushing in his stomach.

Tears begin to form themselves in his eyes.

His shirt is ripped off.

Soon his pants follow.

'Please… Let somebody end this. I can't take it anymore. Not again, please not again.'

His tears are falling down. Unnoticed by himself, he who's being forced to kiss back.

_/ 'Ain't you used to it by now? You know what is going to happen. You know what you're going to feel. You know the pain. You've been through it so many times before. _

_And now you lost. Hope you didn't expect him to leave you alone. He has to punish you. You know that. _

_So, why are you crying? You never did before. You never really cared before… You just let it happen. Knowing that eventually it would be over. It would be gone. He would leave you alone for at least a day…_

_What made you so weak all of a sudden. What made you care?_

_Do you think you don't deserve this? Is that what you think? _

_Well let me tell you something. No one deserves such things. No one except for you. You failed them. Failed him… You let that kid win. Not one punishment is hard enough to punish you for that betrayal… You betrayed them. And more important, you betrayed him… Boris. Your master…' /_

He's shaking his head. Wanting that stupid voice to disappear. To leave him alone. But he knows it is useless… It will never leave him. It will always be there to tease him, to break him… It will never stop. Never. Until he breaks down completely.

Until he dies.

_/ 'Yes, eventually, that is what is going to happen. You'll die… Soon enough, but still too soon for you. You deserve a much severer punishment. Dead is way to easy for you…' / _

A voice cries out loud. His own.

So much pain.

He knows this. He should be used to this. This has happened almost every night. Every night since Alex died. Since they brainwashed him. Since he stopped caring.

Every night he had been Boris toy. And he had let him. Knowing that it was useless to protest. Knowing that if he showed emotions, pain, fear, it would hurt so much more. He had to be strong. That was what they wanted, and that was what he became. Emotionless. Cold. Uncaring… But now that all has changed.

One way or another it was so much easier when he knew nothing. Felt nothing. Cared for nothing. It was easier to go through this. But now. It had became so painful.

Hands on his shoulders. Nails leaving definitely marks there.

A mouth. Kissing, licking and sucking his neck. Teeth biting, leaving another bleeding mark on his back.

_/ 'Yes… It's happening again… What are these tears? Are you still crying? Good. Then it hurts more still! _

_Don't you like it? Don't you like being his little toy? _

_You know you love the feeling of him inside you. You know you do.'/_

"STOP!"

Silence.

"What did you say?"

A soft voice. Too soft to his liking. It's dangerous…

He shakes his head.

"Nothing sir…"

His voice barely able to speak.

'Stupid voice. Do you enjoy it? Getting me in more pain?'

_/ 'I'm sure you know the answer to that…' /_

'Stop. Please, make it stop…'

"Do I have to teach you another lesson? Do you really want me to be more rough to you? Is that what you want? You could have just asked for it…"

He holds his breath.

A stabbing pain. So much pain.

Why was life so unfair?

Nobody deserved this.

Why did he have to go through it?

'As long as the guys are save…'

_/ 'Is that what you think? That they are save? Do you really think that hitting and raping you is the only way to punish you? Do you really think that?_

_Than you're in for a surprise…_

_Nobody is save around you. You hurt everybody you care for. You hurt everybody around you…_

_How can you keep on living like that? What keeps you up? Why won't you just break? What makes you cling to life? What is still here worth living for? Let it go. Just let it go…" /_

'Perhaps that is indeed the best. If they hurt them. Bry, Ian, Spenc… I never really thanked them for being there. For helping me, even though they don't even know they did…

What am I saying? I won't give up! Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? You want nothing more to hurt me.

Never mind. They wanted me to be strong. Well, I will be… I won't let them or you break me… I won't give up just yet…'

The hands now resting on his hips. The pain becoming unbearable.

_/ 'Let me send you a view of what the guards are doing to your guys…' /_

Whips. Feet kicking what ever they can reach.

Legs, arms, unable to tell who who is. Flesh. Blood. Nothing more to see.

Cries. So many cries. Heartbreaking.

'No! They're raping them… No, not them too. Whatever happens to me, I don't care, but not them too… Please, not them too…'

_/ 'Told you they weren't save… Told you they'd end up hurt. Told you they would suffer because of you… When are you going to realise that all you bring in some ones life is pain, and eventually death…' /_

'No. I don't want this.'

A small sad smile.

'Let me die. Let me end this. I have nothing worth living for. It is better for every body else if I just leave…'

**/ 'No…' /**

Closed eyes. Tired soul. Broken heart.

Finally it ends. He pulls himself out me. His breathing laboured. Once he regained his strength he kicks me another time in the face. Then leaves the room. Leaving me to lie there in a pool of blood.

Two guards pick me up, dress me and take me to my cell.

Once we arrive there, they throw me hard on the ground. I don't even react.

Just leave me lying here. I don't care if I die. I don't care anymore…

Suddenly I feel a pair of arms pick me gently from the floor. Lying me on the bed.

Soft whispers.

The hands take off my shirt. Well shirt… What's left of it after the whip punishment… It was ripped to pieces.

A wet piece of clothing dipping my still bleeding back.

A moan of pain escapes my lips.

Smoothing voice telling me to relax, telling me it's gonna be okay soon.

'Yes, it will be okay if I died.'

"No! Don't give up Tal! Don't give up. Don't die on us to. Don't leave us like Alex… Please…"

Did I actually say that out loud?

Who is this? Why would he care anyway.

How does he know Alex…

"Please…"

The same voice. Softer this time. Gentler. So gentle. So caring…

"Don't leave me like this Tal… Don't do it. Don't give up. I need you. We all need you."

Tal… Only 3 persons called me like that. Alex, Kai and Bryan…

So, this means Bry is taking care of me?

"Please Tal. Stay here. Stay with me. I need you. I… I love you Tal. Don't leave. Please."

A tear falls on my arm.

He's crying? For me?

He… loves me?

Me? Impossible.

**/ 'No… Not impossible. Stay with him. Don't leave them too. He needs you. They all do. And you're not what Boris told you. You're a great person. The best I know. Don't give in… Don't let them win Tal…' /**

Something inside me breaks.

My eyes flutter open.

"Tal?"

I grunt.

Although I can't see it ('cause I'm still lying with my back to you), I can feel your sad smile. But a smile nonetheless…

"I'm so glad you're still here."

"Bry, how are you guys?"

I can feel you're confused.

"We're fine. Dead worried about you, but we're fine."

I shake my head softly. "How can you be fine after everything they did to you?"

"What? What are you talking about? They did do nothing to us…"

I look up, not believing my ears. "Nothing? They did nothing to you? But I saw… Saw what they were doing… They were torturing you, ra… raping you."

The last was said so softly that we both doubted if you heard it correctly. But you did. We both knew that you did.

Tears are shimmering in my eyes.

Nothing happened. It has lied to me once again… I should have known it. It always wanted to hurt me us much as possible. Guess it succeeded again…

"Don't leave me Tal… Don't leave me, please…"

Tears are streaming down your cheeks… You do really love me…

**/ 'Don't give in. Take care of the guys… Don't let them win. Don't…' /**

I close my eyes. I won't give up. I still have things to life for… Bryan, the guys. I promised. And I'll keep my promise… For as long as possible. I don't say I won't break, but it's not gonna be today, not now…

"Bry…"

You take my hand.

"Just wanted to let you know… Let you know, that I love you to…"

You can just stare at me. And than you smile. So gentle, so soft.

Gently you place your lips on mine. I shiver involuntary and you pull away.

"What has he done to you Tal?"

You whisper softly. Your voice full of pain.

I look away, not able to see the pain and anger in your eyes.

I know you hate him for what he did to me. Even though you don't even know whole the truth…

You softly run your hand through my hair. Calming me.

"Bry…"

My voice is failing me…

"Can I do anything for you Tal?"

I nod. "Could you get me a glass of water and a painkiller please."

You stand up, ready to comply to any of my wishes.

Before you leave the room, I call you back.

"Could you make that 2 painkillers?"

You look shocked.

"2? Tal, that are heavy painkillers, it can be very dangerous to take 2 of them…"

I smile sadly.

"2 ain't dangerous yet. I'll just be able to sleep. I want nothing more Bry… No pain, sleep. Being able to forget everything for a moment.

Besides, these painkillers are dangerous from the moment you take 3 or more…"

You nod, sensing I really need this.

I close my eyes, waiting for you to come back, to be able to sleep, to forget… And, I want you to hold me. I feel safe in your arms.

'2 isn't dangerous yet, but would I ever dare to ask for more?

Somewhere in the distance sounds/comes the answer of a friend: **/ 'No…' /**

The end

K: so, hope you all liked it… let me know. I would really appreciate it.

Right, _/ 'Everything written like this, is a voice in Tala's head... All Boris and Voltaire's fault...' /_

**/ 'Everything written like this is Alex' voice... For those who didn't found the links.'/**

Anyway, this was the end, and I'd really like to know what you all think of it... So please... Send me a review...


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